Macinvox.

man.. my mac hates vox.  I remember now why I stopped writing in here so much, haha.

I'm at such a strange point in my life.  My family is getting to be a bit stable again and once we have mom moved into gram's old house, I really think I will be comfortable moving about.  I'm itchy to get out of here.   I've been saving and saving my money... I have very few things I spend cash on these days.  I give mom rent money and help with the bills (after all, that's why I moved in.. to help her) and I am known to spend a bit on Second Life.   I can justify that one though - I don't have a space of my own in reality right now.  I am living in a little room in someone else's house and I travel so much that I won't have a space that is truly MINE for a long time.  I don't care about things... they are just things.  But having a little area that gives me mental clarity is important.. a place that I'm in control of and feels like ME...  that's what SL is for me.   I love having a little space there that is the same no matter where I am in the world.  It's my little digital home, and it's good enough for me.

My family is performing the most amazing chinese fire drill of homes soon.  Try to follow along:

- Mom is buying out her sister and she and I are moving into gramma's house, one block away.

- My big sister and husband and six kids are moving into THIS house, where we grew up.

- My little sister and HER husband, who live with us now, are moving into my old apartment.

- My little sister's mother in law is moving into my little sister's old house in Michican.

It's crazy.  We should just start a compound.  I seriously cannot wait until I can own an acre or two and cover it with tumbleweed houses so that all my crazy hippy artist friends can come sponge off me and live in the commmune.  It's not a cult, but it's close! ha

Anyway... I derailed somewhere.   I've been saving.   I don't have bills besides rent and some utilities... no car payment, no credit cards.. I'm saving like a crazy lady.  Work hasn't paid me in just over two months, so when we get some funding and the backpay comes in (like it always does) I should be good to go for a while.  I can work from anywhere on earth with an internet connection, so I am going to travel.

My girlfriend in south africa has invited me to come stay, and I really want to.  I have some friends in australia that I want to see.  I just met this guy online that does charity work in south america, and I'm planning to pester him about it a LOT.  I feel very much like I'm being lazy and underutilized in the fight for good or for awesome and if something doesn't find me soon, I will just go to it.   First the move, then the walk.   My spanish friend Javi is coming here for the month of August, and I am thrilled about that.    I won't get into the details but let's just say this:    I believe that my life is going to be a whirlwind adventure soon, and I will often have to sacrifice things in my personal life in order to accomplish things that are good for everyone as a whole.  I am happy to do this but can't feel right asking someone else to do this, also.  They have to want it for themselves and make that choice on their own.    Were it not for these things, I probably would have gone to spain and eloped by now.  I just can't see Javi working in a south american orphanage.  I know he'd go if I asked him to, but it's not right to stifle someone else's OWN path just to have company.

I will be content with a month here and there.  After all, what an honor to even have him here for a few weeks.  He's never seen a firefly - can you imagine?  I get to help him catch his first one.